And you lived happily ever after…

Does your castle feel like a palace to live with prince charming or is it leaning towards looking like a battle ground?

Whether you are already living together when you exchange vows, or merging with the vows, you have a challenging job to harmoniously create an "our" home. Do not take this lightly, my friend. Think about it - this is where you will live out your future.

I often consult with clients as they are merging homes and need some help (or a referee). Here are my 9 tips to merging your castles and living happily ever after…

Respect each others stuff. Just because you loath his neon beer sign from his fraternity days, doesn’t mean that you have the right to belittle it. In doing that, you belittle him. If there is something that you don’t like- ask your partner about it. You will most likely find out something that you did not know about him and might be able to reframe how you feel about it and be ok with it in your home. And then…

Wait it out. Yes, there will be things of his that you cannot stand. But, if you honor it- and him (remember we are our stuff) he might be more likely to let it go in the future rather than feeling like he has to protect it. I have watched this happen with many, many couples over the years!

Create systems for where things go in your home so that you both are on the same "page". "This is where we put our bills when they come in. Over here is where the extra keys go." Planning this out and having one conversation will allow you to have less stress and more time for romance! Oooo-la-la

Keep your bedroom romantic. No pictures of in-laws, the buddies or children. This is a place to honor your relationship and only your relationship. Place a picture of the two of you on the wall opposite the door when you enter your bedroom to gently remind you of the intent of the room. Take the time to create a boudoir feeling. Life only gets more stressful and having an environment that helps you get in the mood will dramatically improve your sex life. Not to jump the gun on you, but I will mention that every client that I have worked with over the last 6 ½ years that wanted to conceive, has. Many more romantic bedrooms make more babies…

Create a space for each of you that is all your own. This could be a cozy chair to read in for you and for him, an area of the garage. Honor and support this in each other.

Single recliners in front of the television lead to isolation- I call it the "Archie Bunker" syndrome. Love seats are called that for a reason and couches are great too- room to snuggle!

Just like on Noah’ Ark- keep "things" in twos. Two lovely candle sticks look sweet together rather than the lonely single one. Two flowers in a vase rather than one…get it? You don’t have to go over board, but a little pairing will encourage your subconscious mind to keep pairing. This being said, you can see why threesomes of candle sticks and flowers might not be what you want…

Create a love "altar" a special place that you can dedicate to your relationship. Here you can place pictures of the two of you, a list of your goals, candles, and leave love letters and gifts to each other. You can say awwwwwwwe now!

Dream together. Share what you want to do individually and as a couple. What do you want in 1 year, 5 years, 10 years, 50 years? Incorporate that into your decorating.

You will find that "happily ever after" is not such a far stretch when the castle is supporting your fairytale. Take the time to create the home you will live out your future in and, I promise you, as I have seen it happen time and time again, you will live a life filled with miracles and joy. You deserve it!

©2005 Kristy Iris

Kristy Iris has been helping people "fizom their homes and fiz their biz" to create more harmonious, abundant homes. She is the founder of fizom, offering consultations, classes, artwork and a weekly FREE Friday fiztip e-zine. You can visit her at: fizom.com and to sign up for free Friday fiztips. Send an email to fiztip@fizom.com for an upcoming Free teleclass.

Hearts Merging is a painting that Kristy created to help her clients focus on the "merging of their hearts". You can place it plain sight or behind another picture to remind the subconscious mind of your intentions! It comes as a magnet, poster card and signed limited edition print (great wedding gift!). It is available at the fizstore at: http://www.fizom.com/fizst.

Editor's Note - I met Kristy a few years ago through a member of this website and have had Kristy fizom my old home, my new home and my business.  Kristy's "fiztips" and home decorating techniques work wonders!!! 
   Linda LeConey, AtlanticCityWeddings.com.